im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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