i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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