you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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