PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
