fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I smell like Dick and happiness
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
