babies were throwing up all over the place
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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