Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
