You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it glows. i had to have it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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