took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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