I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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