Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
