That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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