Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
