First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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