I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
