there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
