Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Found the puke drawer
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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