New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
