I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
