it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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