so explain again why im purple
no
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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