You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
