god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
