I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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