Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
