dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
