Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
