Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
