I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize