i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
high people should be assigned attendants
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
