to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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