so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You left your phone here
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