I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
