I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
