Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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