I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
