No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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