Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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