Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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