so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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