OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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