At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
