Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
