Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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