Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize