just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
