you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
two words: eviction party
it's like iHOP with fire
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
