so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I lost the right to judge tonight
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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