is your mom at the bar?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Pooping to opera.
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