at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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