Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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