Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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