Plan B is the new Plan A
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
