bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
