Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
