You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
