Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
